First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize