hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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