I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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