put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
