Sry I called you an 8
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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