I just threw up on my dentist
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
