IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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