the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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