I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
