are you still at the devil's house?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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