i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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