Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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