We're facebook friends in real life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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