so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize