Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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