turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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