once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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