doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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