Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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