All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
