Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize