Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We are all done wearing pants today
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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