i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's great music for shaving your balls
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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