oh god the rape fog is back!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
