I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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