Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
