it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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