i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
