It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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