Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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