Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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