I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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