He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
