I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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