I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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