I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
