Your tits are I can't wait for
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
