ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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