I showed him my bush... on skype.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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