doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
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drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ruined the universe
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize