dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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