Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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