i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
