she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, beer. Big fan.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
