did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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