why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
