I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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