The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
