Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
