she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
