I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize