I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
