Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
