I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
