Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
4 words: hood of his car
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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