Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i think my cat just said my name.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize