He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
