Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
