all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
