even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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