your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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