no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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