Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
