dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
